Angelina Jolie Movies (A Dyke's Review)
Jan 12, 2023 13:22:57 GMT -8
Les, iheartwinona, and 1 more like this
Post by heather on Jan 12, 2023 13:22:57 GMT -8
I am not ashamed of my undying love for Angelina Jolie, she's fierce, hot, smart, and a fucking actress! Though my opinions are up for debate there is one fact that cannot be disproven and that she was iconic in my lesbian awakening. Movies in general helped me understand my sexuality but Angelina Jolie films in particular had a grip on me I could never understand. I haven't seen all of her films nor do I plan to but I have seen a fair amount and wanted to share my review of them.
Please share your favorite iconic Jolie movie or any fun facts. Enjoy my review fellow queers <3
Cyborg 2 (1993) - 1 out of 5 Stars
Angelina plays...wait for it...a sex cyborg, Casella 'Cass" Reese, in this confusing ass sequel. The overt sexualization of her character from a cis-het male perspective made this film hard to watch. A plot line even more confusing then Hackers I really have no notable scenes from this film retained in my memory at all. Yet Jolie slays as usual in this West World rip off. Also it's Angelina's first movie role as an adult! Woaah!
Hackers (1995) - 5 out of 5 Stars
Angelina plays a hacker with ian nsane fashion sense in this highly campy film about....honestly I'm not sure. I have seen this movie twice this month and I'm still confused by the plot line. The outfits are to die for and transcend gender in a way only cyber punks can. Please watch this if you're wanting to feel inspired because this is jet fuel for expanding your mental plane. Where it makes Zero sense technologically it is 100% Cool. Can't believe I waited so long to watch this film. Also the famous phrase "hack the planet!" comes from this movie. I love Cyberdlia.
Gia (1998) - 10 out of 5 Stars
GIA! Tragic, lesbian, and just absolutely incredible. Jolie plays the role of Gia Carnagi, an unlikely model from Philadelphia, PA who takes New York City and the fashion world by storm. This movie is a biopic and Gia was a real person who lived and breathed, which is important queer history to highlight. Carnagi was one of the first high profile victims of AIDS and unfortunately contracted the virus when there was so much taboo around the sickness. Spoiler Alert, Jolie dies in the end of the film which plays on a horrible trope seen in Lesbian/Queer films. Yet the fact that this is based on a real story and specifically an illness that was prevalent among the LGBT+ community adds meaningful context to this ending. This movie had me fall in love with Angelina and steal half my personality from this role. Also a young Mila Kunis is briefly in this movie!
Girl, Interrupted (1999) - 6 out of 5 Stars
A movie with Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie in a supporting role?? Umm yes please! Also they do share a brief kiss I will never get over. Girl, Interrupted was a movie my mom got me for Xmas (as was Gia) which I found myself watching over and over. I'd say half my personality comes from Gia and the other half is Girl, Interrupted. An absolute phenomenal female cast including Brittany Murphy (RIP
), Whoopi Goldberg, and dyke icon Clea Duvall (see But, I'm a Cheerleader). Also honorary dyke Jared Leto makes an appearance. This is another movie based on a true story which I love and showcases a young woman's struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder in the late 1960's. I don't want to spoil this if you haven't seen it but if you're queer and love Jolie I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Tomb Raider (2001) - 2 out of 5 Stars
Just watched this! Found it absolutely awful and non-sensical...the British accent used by Jolie is giving Britney Spears which I'm fine with. I liked that for the majority of the film Jolie gives major Ace/Aro vibes but that gets tainted in the end. A movie that is so bad that it might be good? IDK but I watched it for Angelina!
Made in another thread we can talk about fun a game Tomb Raider was! I remember playing on Sega
Please share your favorite iconic Jolie movie or any fun facts. Enjoy my review fellow queers <3
Cyborg 2 (1993) - 1 out of 5 Stars
Angelina plays...wait for it...a sex cyborg, Casella 'Cass" Reese, in this confusing ass sequel. The overt sexualization of her character from a cis-het male perspective made this film hard to watch. A plot line even more confusing then Hackers I really have no notable scenes from this film retained in my memory at all. Yet Jolie slays as usual in this West World rip off. Also it's Angelina's first movie role as an adult! Woaah!
Hackers (1995) - 5 out of 5 Stars
Angelina plays a hacker with ian nsane fashion sense in this highly campy film about....honestly I'm not sure. I have seen this movie twice this month and I'm still confused by the plot line. The outfits are to die for and transcend gender in a way only cyber punks can. Please watch this if you're wanting to feel inspired because this is jet fuel for expanding your mental plane. Where it makes Zero sense technologically it is 100% Cool. Can't believe I waited so long to watch this film. Also the famous phrase "hack the planet!" comes from this movie. I love Cyberdlia.
Gia (1998) - 10 out of 5 Stars
GIA! Tragic, lesbian, and just absolutely incredible. Jolie plays the role of Gia Carnagi, an unlikely model from Philadelphia, PA who takes New York City and the fashion world by storm. This movie is a biopic and Gia was a real person who lived and breathed, which is important queer history to highlight. Carnagi was one of the first high profile victims of AIDS and unfortunately contracted the virus when there was so much taboo around the sickness. Spoiler Alert, Jolie dies in the end of the film which plays on a horrible trope seen in Lesbian/Queer films. Yet the fact that this is based on a real story and specifically an illness that was prevalent among the LGBT+ community adds meaningful context to this ending. This movie had me fall in love with Angelina and steal half my personality from this role. Also a young Mila Kunis is briefly in this movie!
Girl, Interrupted (1999) - 6 out of 5 Stars
A movie with Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie in a supporting role?? Umm yes please! Also they do share a brief kiss I will never get over. Girl, Interrupted was a movie my mom got me for Xmas (as was Gia) which I found myself watching over and over. I'd say half my personality comes from Gia and the other half is Girl, Interrupted. An absolute phenomenal female cast including Brittany Murphy (RIP
), Whoopi Goldberg, and dyke icon Clea Duvall (see But, I'm a Cheerleader). Also honorary dyke Jared Leto makes an appearance. This is another movie based on a true story which I love and showcases a young woman's struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder in the late 1960's. I don't want to spoil this if you haven't seen it but if you're queer and love Jolie I don't think you'll be disappointed. Tomb Raider (2001) - 2 out of 5 Stars
Just watched this! Found it absolutely awful and non-sensical...the British accent used by Jolie is giving Britney Spears which I'm fine with. I liked that for the majority of the film Jolie gives major Ace/Aro vibes but that gets tainted in the end. A movie that is so bad that it might be good? IDK but I watched it for Angelina!
Made in another thread we can talk about fun a game Tomb Raider was! I remember playing on Sega
My fav Angelina Jolie movie is Sharktale 
